Rousseau's Rant (Relaunched and Revisited)

Happy Halloween to everyone! 

I had a very nice weekend, thank you for asking.  Spent some time at my sister's place.  We went to see "Ray."  Great film!  Props to Jamie Foxx on nailing the role of Ray Charles like no one else could.  For a little while you almost forget that he's not the man himself.

We ate some good food.  Had a few laughs.  Played some X-BOX.  Threw back a couple of beers.  It was good. 

I see a very hectic week ahead.  First, of course, there's the election on Tuesday.  Regardless of your politics please vote.  I'm not here to influence anyone's vote, even though I've made it clear who I support, but I can't emphasize enough the importance of excercising your consitutional right.  We saw how close 2000 was.  Do we really want another fiasco like that? 

Personally, I don't think the election will be as close as everyone seems to believe.  I think it'll go to either Bush or Kerry by 4-6 points.  Close but not recount level.  It'll come down to turnout and not the "undecided" voters.  Please, what a load of crap.  Does anyone really know an undecided voter?  I sure don't.  The interesting races will be for the House and Senate.  Some tight contests there.

Also this week I should be hearing from the agency in Florida as to whether or not they'll offer to represent me.  They said 10-14 days.  It will be 14 days on Thursday.  Let's see how close they come.

Finally, the next-to-last ATP event of the year takes place in Paris, the BNP Paribas Masters.  Three spots at the year-ending championship in Houston are up for grabs and Andre Agassi is in 8th place, but he needs to move up to 7th.  Should be an exciting week of tennis!  If you have the Tennis Channel check it out.  It'll do you good to get your mind off the election. 

Have a great week! 

Oh, and a very Happy Birthday to Charlotte Martin!  Best wishes for the year to come!     

Well, I did it.  I finally, after running out of excuses, made it back onto the tennis court this afternoon.  And I can't explain how much I missed it!  I probably should have gone a lot sooner, but at least I made it back.

What a high-quality contest it was!  I played a best-of-three set match with my buddy Eric.  I felt a little rusty at first, which I expected.  I had a little trouble getting a good first serve going but after we played a few points I was able to loosen up.  I fell behind a break in the first set at 5-3, but got it back and sent it into a tiebreak.  What an epic that turned out to be!  I can't remember playing such a tight one in a long, long time.  We both dropped points on our serve, both held and saved set points and after it was all done I came out on top 15-13.

The second set was a little easier.  I got a couple of breaks, served for the match at 5-2 but was broken after holding match point.  Loath to make the same mistake twice, I served it out at 5-4.  7-6 (13), 6-4.  Not a bad result for someone that hadn't hit in a while!

As a result, I don't quite know why, today's victory gives me a ton of confidence for the days ahead.  If I'm able to win on the tennis court, I should be able to achieve a victory when it comes to the pursuit of my career.  Playing tennis is no easy task and it makes any obnoxious, reindeer- up-their-ass agents or production executives look like puppies right now. 

I have no fear and I have every hope and (reasonable) expectation that I WILL prevail sometime soon, maybe this week, in FINALLY getting an agent or a sale/option on one of my scripts.  Or it could be just an adrenaline high that makes me think happy thoughts.  I don't know.  But if it is I'll take it.  It's a helluva lot better than the normal, depressing thoughts I usually have.

What's the moral of this story?  Pick up a racket and take your anxiety and stress out on an unwitting opponent.  Or to a punching bag.  Something.  Do something physically appealing because it does wonders for your state of mind.  And for the first time in a long time I'm looking forward to the weekend.  Maybe I'll see a movie.  "Ray" looks good.  How about you? 

The sun finally came out this afternoon after a full two days of rain.  Although I like the rain I have to admit that it was nice to see the skies clear again!  This means I have no more excuses for not getting back onto the tennis court tomorrow.  Unless it's too hot.  Or too sunny.  Or too windy.

By playing competitve tennis, either on a professional or recereational level, you don't always have the luxury of waiting for the perfect conditions.  If the court is dry enough and the players are breathing then you play.  Whether it be hot, cold or otherwise.  It's the same with writing.  You can't always choose to wait until the ideal time comes along.  You either do it or you don't.

That's why I've been kicking myself a little for not getting anything done.  It was raining these past two days so I used that as an excuse to mess around.  Of course, I don't need an excuse to mess around.  Now I begin to think about all the other times when I had the time to write and didn't.  What ideas did I not explore?  What stories did I not allow myself to create?  What fragments remained disjointed?  How many cans of beer did I chug?  How many times was I arrested for disorderly conduct?  How many ghetto skanks did I try to bag instead of staying home and grinding?  The answers to these questions are either lost forever or can be found on an upcoming episode of "Reno 9-1-1."

I suppose, if I may wane philosophical for a moment, that life is the very same.  Life isn't always great.  It isn't always perfect.  There are going to be bad days.  But there will also be good days.  Bad days to play tennis.  Good days to write.  Sometimes you'll be at a great party and sometimes you'll end up in some loser's ap artment with four people, two of them on probation, and where the only "booze" on offer is TAB.

These things we must all deal with.  So, now I'm resolved to get off the couch and onto the tennis court, then to the shower (no peeking unless you must) and then back to the computer to begin work.  Maybe I'll make a pit stop at the fridge for a beer.  Oh wait, I'm out of beer. 

Ok, then it's off the couch and to the store, then to the tennis court and then shower and finally computer.  But should I be drinking before I play?

Ok, so couch to store to couch with beer in hand to a little break to tennis court to shower and then to computer.  But shouldn't I eat something after the beer(s) and before I take the court? 

Can life be this complicated?  Will the torture ever cease?  And now I just discovered that I'm out of hamburger buns and so to make dinner I have to get to the store. 

So, from computer to store to kitchen to eating to more eating to drinking to t.v. to local dive to home with some ghetto skank to tennis court...wait.  Oh, the hell with it.

It's been raining all day where I live in Southern California.  I don't know about you but I love rain.  I love the way it sounds.  I love the way it feels.  I love the smell it leaves after it stops.  I especially love to look at the sky after it rains.  It's a bit sappy, I know, but it gets to me every time.

As a result, I wasn't able to play tennis today.  I did play X-BOX tennis and did very well but it's not the same.  That's two days wrecked by rain.  When I finally can play I probably won't be in the mood.

I didn't write at all during the day, no big surprise there.  I love the tradition of a rainy day, where you should fool around all day for the hell of it.  I do that very well, though I don't need the rain to help me along!

I played X-BOX, watched t.v. and had a BBQ this evening.  It was a good day.

It made me wonder whether I should just not write until I hear back from the three agencies that are looking at my scripts as we speak.  Is there any point to it?  If I do get an offer I'll undoubtedly be asked to start a rewrite so the script can be marketed better, which means I'll have to put my new script aside and refocus on an old one.  On the other hand, if I get turned down by all three I'll go into my usual cycle of disappointment, disillusionment and derision and won't be able to write anyway.  Then it's back to the drawing board searching for a new place to submit, but I'm almost out of options at this point.  I suppose there will always be somewhere to query, someone to send it to but I don't have the energy any more.  So, I hope that I'll finally strike gold with one of these three.

I guess I answered my own question about whether I should get back to the new screenplay or rewrite of the t.v. pilot.  I haven't written in a good while now and I'm getting real antsy to start again.  Maybe I'll pick at a script tonight just to keep the juices flowing.  Then maybe I'll get really into it and will be able to forget about the world around me for a little while, as I create my own.  That sounds nice.  And with the election less than a week away and with all the mess that's sure to come afterwards, it'll be nice to get lost for a little while. 

My back is really bad today.  It's bad most days but today, being Tuesday, it's especially bad.  Why?  Tonight is "NYPD Blue" and after 11 years I've come to physically hurt for Andy Sipowicz.  Ok, maybe that's not true.  It hurts because it hurts.

My left hip is bugging me too.  I'm such an old man!  That seems to happen when the back is bad.  I can't explain it.  I wanted to go out and hit some tennis balls today but decided against it.  I would like to be able to walk tomorrow, after all.  That's why I play very little any more.  I've often thought of joining the USTA National League and playing a few tournaments.  But now, if and when I do, I'll probably join a local team and play mostly doubles.  Too much extra wear and tear on the body playing singles to go along with the everyday stuff.

Instead, I played a little Top Spin on the X-BOX.  So, I got to hit a few balls after all!  I beat Lleyton Hewitt 6-0, 6-3 thank you very much.  I then wanted some calm and serenity after that athletic battle so I played some Grand Theft Auto.  Quite relaxing.

I then found myself, as usual, thinking about the script I sent to the new agency yesterday.  I worried that I forgot to include something.  I worried whether I sent it to the right address.  I wondered whether or not I could trust the post office to deliver my all-too-important parcel.  If I find out they didn't, I may have to go postal and take an AK-47 to my local branch!

This is the routine, for me anyway.  I get an invitation to submit a script.  I send it first and worry later.  I'm not sure why that is.  But at least I'm not worried while I'm sending it because then it would never get sent.  I am thorough so I have nothing to worry about except, of course, the quality of the material that I sent out.

I also started to second-guess my decision to include in my introductory letter the paragraph on how much I hoped to work with them.  I thought, after another writer posted a good comment yesterday, that I had overdone it.  But after re-reading it I'm confident that I was extremely professional and only expressed my desire to work with their agency.  That should be ok. 

So, who's to say when I'll get back to writing?  I'm supposed to hear from another agency, this one in Florida, within the next week or so whether or not they'll offer to represent me.  Plus, I still haven't gotten a definite answer from LH in New York. 

Three, I guess, is the new number.  Three agencies are currently reviewing my work and will decide whether or not to make a representation offer .  As I've said countless times before, so much so that I'm tiring of hearing it myself, I've been in this dance hall for a good two years now and haven't yet landed a partner.  Maybe it's my clothes.  Maybe it's my hair.  Or maybe it's my writing. 

Arrogant or not I choose not to think that.  I like to think that a steady stream of invitations is a positive sign.  That I can at least interest agencies and production companies enough for them solict a script and give it consideration gives me a little hope that I'm slowly but surely making headway.  It takes some longer than others, I know that.  I'm certainly not going to be one of the overnight success stories.  But if I can just be a success story that's fine by me.   

Once again I'm starting a new courtship.  A new dance.  As always, it seems promising at first but ultimately ends in more disappointment and disillusionment.  Why do I keep doing it?  I have to.  It's who I am.  And maybe, just maybe, this one will finally work out.

I'm not talking about love.  Not really.  A different kind of love, I suppose.  Love of my craft. 

At the end of last week I recieved an invitation from another literary agency to submit a screenplay.  This one, which I'll refer to as MBA, is a WGA signatory agency.  What exactly that means I'm not sure, but I do know that it's a higher-up agency.  A little more prestigious, you could say, because they deal primarily with WGA members and those looking to become members ASAP.  It seems like a good sign but, as always, I'm taking it with a grain of salt and am not trying to get my hopes up too much.

I faced a little bit of a dilemna today as I was typing out the introductory note reminding the agent who I was and why I was sending my script.  After the standard introductory prose was completed, I wondered if I should break with established practice and include a brief mention illustrating how much I was hoping to land an agent soon because I'm at the end of my rope having come so close without being represented.  Would that seem desperate?  Would this person care?  Would it help my cause at all to hear how much I'd cherish an offer to represent me?  I debated this for a few moments and then figured that at this point I should just go for everything.  Head first.  Nose down.  So, I added a brief paragraph saying that I had come so close to being bought and optioned without an agent and was hoping to take that final step with an agent.  Risky?  Unwise? We'll see.

My thinking was that I have nothing to lose by telling this agent that I've come so very close to getting established on my own.  Hell, I figured that it might get my script a closer look if it was known that someone else had almost taken it.  Plus, I concluded, making a subtle plea for someone to please, pretty please take a chance on me might make the difference if this person is on the fence about me at some point in the future.  Maybe knowing the desperate situation I'm in would warrant my big break or at least a small chance.  If not, I've lost nothing by trying.

It could backfire, I know.  I run the risk of seeming too desperate and/or pushy.  But at this point I really could care less if that's the impression of me.  At least I'm trying.  I haven't been doing this for two years to sit on my hands and play it safe.  It's time to take a few risks.  I've been known to pull a few rabbits out of my hat, take a few opportune chances when they came to me.  In fact, here's a secret, that's the key to winning a tennis match, for the players and fans among you.  Rabbits.  Chances.  That's the secret to success on the tennis court.  And it may very well be the secret to success on life's court.  Here I go.

Weekends are always the hardest for me to write.  I don't know why this is.  It's not like a regular nine to five job that I have to go to.  Maybe it's because I have the entire "weekend," two days off, concept permanently burned into my psyche.  It's nice to have time off, don't get me wrong, but I would still like to feel more productive.

I should point out that I have actually done some very good writing on weekends.  When I wrote my first screenplay I worked eight days straight, including the weekend.  It didn't bother me one bit.  It was just another day in front of the computer.

I suppose it has more to do with attitude than anything else.  These days I'm not particularly driven or inspired to get to work on a new script.  Though I've given some serious thought to finding a way to get myself more inspired.  There are various techniques, writing prompts that one can try to get the mind working.  That's all well and good but I don't even have the interest to do that.  I like going at my own pace and doing things my own way.

Hopefully, I'll get inspired soon and I won't have to sit around and feel as though I'm wasting time.  I do plenty of that during the week!  But I'd like to get to a place where I'm so driven, or so busy, that I have no choice but to work through the weekend.  It sounds fun.  At least until you try it, I suppose.  But I'll take being too busy with so little time on my hands than not being busy and having all the time in the world. 

Even when I'm not busy I can still have plenty of good writing days, which is why I'm upset at not being able to get anything done.  I need to try harder.  Some of my best writing comes from random places.  I'll try especially hard this week.  Maybe I can have a few good days.  Or at least one.

Meteorologists have long pointed out that Octocer 23rd is one of the coldest, harshest and darkest days of the fall season.  It has been for years.  So it seems appropriate that this day is also my sister's birthday.

Ok, so maybe I made that first part up.  The weather part, not the birthday.  My sister Bryanne is two years older than I am and lives in San Diego.  She is an insurance agent.  To say that over the years we've had a little bit of a sibling rivalry is a massive understatement.  I've always measured my success against hers and have more often than not found myself playing catch-up.  It's no different today.

Here's what really pisses me off about my sister: she's smarter, more talented and immensely more popular than I am or can ever hope to be.  People, random strangers even, take to her very quickly.  They hardly give me a second look and if they do it's always that "haven't I seen him on 'Cops'?" look.  Or "aren't you a male stripper?"  Well, yes as a matter of fact.  Though I only perfrom on aunts and grandmothers night.

Jealous?  Maybe a little.  Envious?  Greener than a dollar bill, which incidentally she has a lot more of than I do at the moment, which is why she made the X-BOX purchase.

We've had our ups and downs like any brother and sister.  Maybe more than most.  But that's ok.  That's what makes our relationship so interesting.  And while many are shocked to learn that we came from the same gene pool my sister always points out that I came from the side with all the algae.  Oh, you think that's funny?

We've had one really great adventure these last few months.  That was going to see Liz Phair in concert in San Diego and Anaheim this summer, where we also saw The Cardigans, Katy Rose and Charlotte Martin.  Being that we've always had different musical tastes it was nice to go see people we both enjoy.  Hopefully, there will be more concerts to come in the future.

I love my sister.  She's the best and I'm blessed to have her, even if she does drive me up the wall most times!  However, that doesn't mean I won't keep trying to show her up.  That little sense of competition is good for me.  And right now I need every challenge I can get to stay sane.

Last night was the final installment of PBS's wonderful six-hour history of Broadway.  If you haven't seen it I highly recommend catching it in reruns.  While tracing the history of the American theater through the last two centuries, through war and social upheaval, I was pleasantly surprised at how steady Broadway remained.  People need distraction, especially through difficult times, and the theater has always been there.  Before cinema, before radio and before the internet Broadway stood tall and proud.  From the first World War through 9/11 people came to Broadway to shut out the world for a little while and bask in one of America's greatest art forms.

I started my writing career as a playwright.  The theater and Broadway were a big part of my life growing up and I wanted to give back.  And while I've had about the same success there as I've had in Hollywood, always close but no cigar (yet), I would like to get there one day.  Actually, if I could only write in one medium it would be the theater.  In the theater you can expect a little more from your audience and you can take some chances that you can't necessarily take in movies.  But that is fast changing.

The most fascinating part of the series was how Disney changed the landscape of the modern Broadway theater.  Rescuing Times Square from corrosion and indifference, Disney help lure big businesses to Broadway and ushered in a new era in theater history.  But with the new corporate interests in place, the quality of the theater has dramatically declined.  There are very few original plays produced any more.  Most are star-studded revivals or transplants from London.  And what was the last original American musical you saw on Broadway?  With Disney and corporate America came money and profit.  Now, only percieved sure-fire hits like star-driven vehicles and Hollywood adaptations will get the money necessary for a Broadway production.  Some of the most innovative work is being done Off-Broadway or in regional theaters across the country.  What a sad state of affairs this is.

We saw this happen in Hollywood some years back and the rise of independent film has done it's share to keep new, innovative and original filmmaking alive.  But it's not nearly enough.  Some of the best talent remains untapped because it's not "proven."  Not a commerical product. 

This is the state of the arts in America as I now see it.  Money and profit.  Perception.  Good PR.  I'm optimistic, though, that change is on the horizon and us bottom-feeders, waiting for our chance to get in the game, will eventually be called upon to help usher in change.  I want to be a part of that change, a renassaince where original and new work will be appreicated and not ignored.  Not just in Hollywood and the theater.  Everywhere.  Education.  Health Care.  Politics.  Anywhere.  This is a grand scheme, I know, but the arts are normally where the discussion of change and the new tomorrow begins.  Why not start now?  

How about some huge, gargantuan, super-size props for the Boston Red Sox for their record-breaking come from behind victory over the N.Y. Yankees?  Individual props must be given to Curt Schilling for his inspired pitching and Johnny Damon for his equally inspiring grand slam that sealed the win for Boston.  No props for his hair, though.  That do may have been in when the Sox won their last World Series back in 1918 but it's high-time to go with a cut.

Watching that great effort last night made me harken back to my own ball-playing days.  I was a a right-fielder myself and starting bench-warmer in my Little League career.  I was a reliable D.H., so frightened were opposing pitchers of me that I was normally walked.  I once scored three hits in a season and, this is a long story, I achieved a first-ever walk home-run!

Ok, so maybe baseball wasn't my best sport.  I was also a wide-reciever on the high school varsity squad for the first week of practice, though it was a high school I didn't actually attend.  I also played basketball and proudly lived up to the age-old saying that "white men can't jump."  At least this white man.

What did that leave?  Golf?  I'm a terrible golfer, though I play a mean game of miniature golf.  Soccer?  No way, I don't like any sport where you can't use your hands.  Volleyball?  Not too swift in the sand.  Tennis?  Ah, there we go.  Nirvana.  Ok, so maybe I didn't win Wimbledon but it's a sport that's stayed with me for all these years, it's taught me a lot about myself and life in general and it's something I'll always be a part of.  If I have kids, maybe I can raise a Grand Slam champ.  One can dream.

What is the point to my recounting my less-than-stellar sports resume?  Simply that, as evidenced by the Red Sox stunning run into the World Series, miracles can happen.  Not just in sports but in life.  

As I said yesterday, those who show up and keep swinging will eventually get their due.  I'm still here and I'm still swinging.  Still writing, to be more accurate.  So I'd like to take some inspiration from last night's improbable triumph.  The Yankees are just as daunting as Hollywood and if the Beantown boys can do it why not me?  Though, hopefully, it won't take me 80-some years to achieve my own victory! 

There's been some discussion over on Betsy's blog as to whether all of the submitted scripts for "Situation: Comedy" were actually read.  One person, who claims to who have worked for the Scriptapalooza contest, explained why he believed only a fraction of the submitted entries were considered.  I hope this isn't true.  But it may very well be.

I know Scriptapalooza to be a very respectable contest.  They run the "People's Pilot" competition every year and get pretty good results for the winners.  I considered entering that contest myself but chose to enter "S:C" instead because I didn't feel like coughing up an entry fee and the "S:C" winner was actually guaranteed something.  "P:P" do esn't guarantee anything for the winners except industry exposure, which may or may not lead to a sale, option or representation.

My friend Ken [gonzobean] pointed out that if the comments about how many "S:C" scripts were actually read is true, then that is a pretty sad reality for those of us trying to break into what is arguably the toughest profession outside of professional sports.  I agree with him, however, it makes me that much more determined to succeed.

We see and hear the cliche' stories all the time about the young, bright-eyed kids who get off the bus hoping to make it in Hollywood.  Most are sent home with their tails tucked and dreams shattered.  I've experienced a bit of that myself but I choose to believe in the old saying that "whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger."  And I am much stronger for doing this.  I am much stronger for trying to ascend the highest mountain after falling off countless times and plummeting into the deepest valley.

You have to grow thick skin if you want to succeed in showbiz.  Sadly, we all know that talent isn't necessarily the biggest factor toward making it in Hollywood so what does that leave?  Luck and perserverance. 

Having been at this a good while I can tell you that those who show up time after time and are willing to stand there, get spit on and take the punches will eventually get their due.  Those that continue to try, stay in the fight and give it everything will make their own luck.  I know that sounds sentimental and perhaps a little unrealisitic coming from where I'm sitting, but believe me it's true.  

My time will come.  So will yours.  As I said in response to the "meaning of lif e" question, go your own path and piss off as many people as possible.  And how many angry, bitter people will you piss off by sticking with it and finally succeeding?  How many people can you stick it to?  Enough, trust me.  It may be gloating but for all of those who told me, and still tell me, that it won't happen I relish the day when I can shove all in their faces.  Then I'll buy them all a drink and we can hit the strip club!  

My favorite part of the film "Reds" is when John Reed, a writer played by Warren Beatty, is covering a Communist rally for his magazine.  When the police are sent in to break up the rally one of them goes up to Reed and says, "What are you doing here?"  Reed responds, "I write."  The policeman counters, "You write?  No, you wrong," and proceeds to club him and the other protestors.

That scene has a bit of a double-meaning for me.  On the one hand, it's very funny and shows how harshly American Communists were treated.  On the other, it poses an interesting question.  Often throughout the film Reed is faced with the question of why does he write.  He really wanted to be a politician, a leader in forming an American Communist Party, but his real talent lay in documenting the events and not participating in them.

I've often asked that question of myself.  Not whether or not I want to be a Communist politican, but why I write?  I've often wondered that in keeping this blog.  It occured to me today that in some unconcious way I'm allowing myself to get out whatever is going on inside of my head.  Strange, considering that most times I don't even know what I'm going to write about until I sit down!  Have I completely lost it?  Am I so screwed up that I can no longer control what's going on inside of my head?  Am I so misguided that I may consider watching "The West Wing" again in the hope that it might get better?  I used to think that about "Friends," but it never did.

I suppose, having considered all of this, that I write because I need to allow myself to think.  I need to hear myself think and the only way to do it is to think out loud.  That occurs when I write or when I talk to myself.  I do both quite often but up until now I wasn't aware that I could be slapped on the street by a random stranger for doing the former.  I guess she didn't like my dig at "Friends."  Though, truth be told, the fat Monica was a beauty queen compared to the heffer that just rolled by.

I write because I have to.  I write because I want to.  I write because I don't know how to do anything else.  I write because I don't want to do anything else.  I've made up good, entertaining stories my whole life so why not get paid for it instead of getting beat up? 

I love what I do.  I only wish that I won't be forced to give it up.  I have a clock now that will run out at the end of the year if I don't get sold, optioned or represented.  I don't want to end up like Cinderella at the end of the ball.  I hate pumpkins anyway.  But hopefully at the end of the night I can bitch-slap the evil sisters and then sleep with them.  Or I can get a new pair of slippers.  Air Nikes would be nice.

Someone asked me the other day if I knew what the meaning of life was.  I have never been asked this question before and so I had to tell this person to wait while I thought about it and I'd get back to them.

You may ask how did this very deep, philosophical query arise?  It occured over a beer, naturally, and while we were discussing the sad performance of our beloved L.A. Dodgers against the St. Louis Cardinals in the first round of the MLB playoffs.  The Dodgers' manager, Jim Tracy, is a very philosophical person and normally peppers his oratory with probing ideas for which to ponder further.  Did this inspire his team?  Judging by the way they were slapped aside by the Cardinals it would seem not, but it was a rough season for many reasons and I'm sure at some point one of his locker room talks gave some players flight. 

So while we were discussing all of this the subject came, in a roundabout sort of fashion, to some of the ideas that Tracy challenged his team to think about during the course of the season.  One of them, it seems, was the underlying truth of one's life.  What was it?  What are we living for?  For the Dodgers among us, why are we playing this game?  Why baseball and not football, basketball or soccer?  What is the meaning of existence?  More importantly, what is the meaning of that Geico commerical where the little green gecko travelling in the family car suddenly bursts into "Kung-Foo Fighting?"

I had a dream the other night.  I was being chased down a long hallway by some employees from Bath and Body Works who, it seemed, wanted to tear my clothes off and give me a bubble bath.  Why?  What is the meaning of this?  Is it sexual?  Is it spiritual?  Does it mean I'm out of Zest?

I thought about these questions for a while today and I realized that I had ignored a very important part of the dream.  While I was being chased by these crazed bubble monsters, I was laughing at them and they were getting increasingly angry.  So I laughed louder.  And they got angrier.  And laughed louder.  And got angrier.

It occured to me that I wasn't giving them what they wanted.  I wasn't giving them the chance to bathe me, fondle me and to get off on my devastatingly well-toned torso.  I was denying them what they wanted most because it wasn't what I wanted.  I was going my own path.  I like to shower alone, thank you very much, and if I do partake of a bubble bath it's normally with an equally bubbling blonde bimbo, preferrably an athletic one, who likes to play with my rubber ducky.

So, to get back to the point, what is the meaning of life?  If this dream were to serve as a harbinger of truth then I think I've figured it out.  The meaning of life is to piss off as many people as possible by going your own path. 

I practice what I preach.  Which, incidentally, is why I'm not too popular at the moment.  Though, admittedly, I've never been interested in winning the "Mr. Congeniality Contest." 

Have you ever heard the old saying, "it seems like yesterday...?"  I wish I could use that when it comes to how I started out my path toward becoming a professional writer.  Unfortunately, because the road has been fraught with such little success and a lot of disappointment, it seems like forever when I started down this road.  Though forever, in reality, has only been about two and a half years.  Maybe that's a good thing.  But for the moment it seems like a lot of time wasted.  Time I'll never get back. 

I don't like feeling this way.  I wish I can look back on this time someday and remember it as a valuable period that shaped me and gave me the foundation I needed for future success.  I still hope for that.  And, being an optimist by nature, I feel that it's not too far away.  How far away can it possibly be, after all?  Isn't 36 months, or thereabouts, enough?  We shall see.

I want to pass on a little information.  For those, older or younger than I am it makes no difference, who are just starting out I want to give you a few brief points on what I've learned in getting here.  Not a great success story but I feel just as wise, if not more so, then those who've already gotten their first big break.

First, research is the most important thing.  In two areas: writing a script and finding out who to send it to.  I can't speak much to the former because everyone has their own stories to tell but sufficed to say we all face the task of making ours original and unique.  I've found research, a lot of thinking, a lot of writing and rewriting will get you about halfway there.  The stories and the characters, well that's up to you. 

On the latter point, where to send your scripts is just as important as anything else.  You can either send them to production companies that are looking for certain kinds of scripts or try to land an agent first.  I decided to try and sell or option mine first because you don't need an agent to sell or option your script and you don't have to pay a 10% fee when you do.  Also, you have a big star on your resume when you go looking for an agent.  If you have a sale or an option then the higher-ladder agents will give you a good look.  If you're just starting out most won't even return your inquiry.  But there are plenty of agents that specialize in finding new talent.  They can be invaluable toward getting the script in the right hands and getting you work.  I'm now in the process of trying to secure an agent after a good period of trying to sell on my own.

Another important point is not to hound whoever has asked for your script.  You have to figure that they have one reader for every 10 or 20 scripts so it's going to take them awhile to get back to you.  I've found a good rule of thumb is to wait about a month and if you haven't gotten any type of response then it's ok to call and inquire.  If you're too over-eager or pushy then that tends to hurt your chances, regardless of the quality of your work.

There are various workshops and expos that have great networking opportunities.  The bigger events usually have studio and/or production company execs., as well as agents, who are there to scout for new talent.  They're a great way to get your script read.

There are also various outfits that have coverage services, where you pay a fee for a professional reader to read, analyze and give feedback on your script.  It can be valuable, if you can afford it.  But remember that one person's opinion may not translate into  more success.

Finally, many professional writers have said that you never, ever send out your first script to sell or option.  You write three, maybe four before you consider sending one out.  Your script is your calling card and if you get bad reviews then your chances for future success are hurt.  I don't necessarily think this is true.  Personally, my very first scripts have gotten, strangely enough, the best reviews and were the works which led others to suggest I try and turn pro.  If you work and work and write and rewrite to make it as good as it can possibly be, there's nothing wrong with sending it out.  Chances are that most places you send these scripts to are used to new writers and their amateur mistakes, which are easily correctable with experience, and they usually won't hold it against you.  Now, if by chance you get that first script into the hands of HBO or Miramax and it really stinks, then you may have a problem.

These are some of the lessons I've learned thus far in the screen trade.  As far as wisdom that comes from experience goes, this is the most valuable.  Though obviously I have a lot of stories to tell that can't possibly fit here!  I hope you find some things to consider her e which will prove useful.  I don't have a crystal ball and I can't predict success or failure, but I think these things will set you on the right path if you choose to heed my advice.  Remember, I'm not perfect and what worked for me may not be right for you.  Just some things to ponder.

Finally, in case you missed it I posted a blog earlier this week with some places to start in terms of where to send scripts and such.  There are others out there, of course, but these are some of the best for those starting out. 

After what I can only describe as one whirlwind of a week, I have tried to return to a normal routine.  Somewhat.

This has proven difficult because while I've moved on from this "Situation: Comedy" fiasco, I can't help but keep an eye on the latest news.  Is it over?  Is it not?  Today, in fact, we've heard that Bravo and the production company handling the contest have remained just as closed mouthed as before.  I still think that they're waiting for all 50 Quarterfinalists to check out before anything is announced.  As I said yesterday, the rules state that alternates will be selected if any of the chosen 50 are disqualified.  So, toward that end, there is still a little hope for anyone who wishes to hang on to the contest.  More power to you!  I won't lie.  If I get a call or email in the next couple of weeks saying that I was designated as an alternate and am being moved into the next round because someone was disqualified, I'll be thrilled beyond belief!  But I'm not holding my breath.  Just like the old saying about the Boston Red Sox, "if you hold your breath long enough for them to get the World Series you'll suffocate." 

I'm moving on the best that I can.  I'm rewriting my pilot, taking to heart some of the excellent comments that some of you made on my script.  Once that's done I'll probably rewrite again.  And again.  I started a new screenplay a few weeks back that I'm really excited about, but I've always found working on something old isn't as scary or nerve-wracking as working on something new.  I love writing.  I love rewriting even more.  But I hate starting something new. 

I also have a couple of plays to get back to.  An old friend of mine, one of my college professors, and I turned her book into a play as my senior year project.  After the first draft we sent it around and got great feedback and offers for future development in London and San Francisco.  For various reasons we didn't follow through and have now decided to rewrite it before sending it out again.

So, I've got plenty to keep me busy.  For now.  Though it's hard.  And we're not even talking about the financial (or lack thereof) aspect of all of this, which is far more serious than any contest.  The worst part about this period, when you've got plenty to work on but no steady income coming in, is that while your drive might be there reality and circumstances can complicate things.  Financially, I can just afford to hold on a bit longer and by that I mean, maybe, until the end of the year.  Come January and I still haven't sold, optioned or signed with an agency then I'm dead in the water and I'm not exaggerating.  Though I'm sure many of you can relate.

This latest setback, if nothing else, has made me that more desperate and determined to gain a success.  I hope that's a good thing, though desperation can sometimes be misinterpreted.  But I'm still going after the big prize and I'll keep going for at least the next few weeks until, whether I want to or not, I won't be able to any longer. 

I wish all of you the same success I hope to gain for myself. 

What the hell is going on with "Situation: Comedy?"

That may not be the most appropriate way to ask this question but it sure fits the bill.  Let us review what has happened thus far:

On Monday we recieved word that over the weekend the Top 50 contestants were chosen.  Now, not to add fuel to the fire, I want to add why I felt this was suspicious to begin with.  Two people posted on Betsy's blog that they had recieved word from Bravo.  One person said they recieved a phone call and an email on Saturday.  Another said they recieved an email, but no phone call, on Sunday.  Does it sound plausible that some were called and some not?  Some emailed on different days?  You decide.

We were told immediately thereafter, partly out of anger and maybe a little bit of denial, that we should not believe anything until Bravo posted official word on their website confirming this.  I felt that was a good point considering that every contest I know of makes this a practice and, let's face it, there are some jokesters out there with nothing better to do.

Now what?  We have heard over the last couple of days from two different people that they spoke to someone at Bravo, though we're not sure whom or if it was the same person that was spoken to twice, that the winners have neither been announced nor chosen.  Whom to believe?  Again, you decide.

I will now, at the risk of being tarred and feathered, give my take.  I have accepted that my script wasn't chosen by "S:C" and have since moved on and I urged others to do the same.  To practice what I preach, I have been exchanging scripts with some of our fellow contestants to tighten up, polish and improve my pilot in the hopes that a better script will yield a better result.  But, a very big but here, I have also been at this a while and have been through this before and I honestly have to say that if the 50 were in fact chosen and notified and days have passed since official word from the network has come, then this has to be the biggest bonehead operation I can think of. 

How do you notify 50 people, set a deadline for this coming Monday for further applications and not officially say so?  How do you clarify 50 (we assume though, remember, we've only heard from a handful of the chosen few) people being told one thing and the general public being told something else?  That makes no sense to me whatsoever.

I think one of two things has happened (and here's where I may now recieve death threats): the 50 were chosen, as some have said, and the network is waiting to announce it because, if you remember the rules that came with the application, certain people for any number of reasons may be disqualified in Round 2 and alternates selected.  Perhaps the network is waiting for all 50 to check out before announcing it so they won't have egg on their face and have to go searching for fillers from the pile of losers.  Or, let's be frank, we're being messed with.  I can honestly believe that the 50 haven't been chosen yet or all the scripts read because it's been not a month yet since the deadline and can we really expect thousands of scripts to be read and scored three times and then tabulated in that short period of time?  That would take a Herculean effort, though it's certainly possible.

I, in the final analysis, am holding out little hope that things will change.  I'm focused on the future not on the past but I will monitor this sitaution, pardon the pun, very closely especially if we hear again from someone at Bravo that the winners have yet to be announced or chosen.

To the 50, or at least the ones we've heard from, who've been chosen: my support for you remains undiminished.  And I will certainly be the first to offer comfort if it appears that you too have been defrauded in this process.  I think being told that you're one of the 50 as opposed to hearing that you weren't one them is considerably more painful.  If that turns out to be the case then I honestly don't know what to say or how I would offer sympathy.  Would it even help?

Or, without making accusations or calling anyone anything, if you are knowingly participating in some kind of practical joke or hoax then shame on you and grow up!  I sincerely hope that isn't the case.  After all, aren't we old enough to put that kind of juvenile behavior behind?  Isn't this business tough enough already?   

Granted, a little of this is being written out of anger but this should put that fire to rest.  Also, no disrespect is meant to the 50 Quarterfinalists.  We're all rooting for you!

I have had the pleasure of reading a couple of scripts from some of our fellow "S:C" participants and I have come to the conclusion that one of two things happened in this contest:

1. Most, if not all, of the submissions were of such high quality that choosing only 50 of the thousands that were submitted became a very difficult task, leaving out some real worthy competitors.  This does actually happen and sometimes a real winner is left out of the mix.  I sincerely hope that this was the case with "Situation: Comedy." 

2. Luck, more so than quality, given the diverse tastes of three different sets of eyes played a major role in determining the Top 50 contestants.  This, of course, does also happen and sometimes a real winner is left out of the mix.

I think if it was the former reason that some (most) of us didn't move through then we can all take some measure of comfort in that.

If it was the latter reason then, oh well, that's Hollywood and that's life and we all knew that when we got into the business of writing in the first place. 

Also, let us remember, this wasn't the only contest in existence and if the other scripts were of the quality that I read, then someone out there, an agent or production house, is sure to bite.

Either way, this shouldn't diminsh our enthusiasm or support for our 50 fellow scribes.  And, unfortunately, as some of them have offered comfort and support to us after this stage, we'll be obliged to do the same when that number is cut down to 10.  May we be as kind and supportive to them as they have been to us.

Over the last few weeks I've had a number of people ask me quite a few tennis questions.  Given that my t.v. pilot is about a tennis player, I thought I'd post and answer some of the more interesting queries I've recieved.

1.  If you could build your own "perfect" tennis player, taking any individual's skills, what would you take from whom?

Serve: Andy Roddick's power combined with Roger Federer's placement and precision.

Forehand: This is a tough one.  Roddick and Federer have what are generally considered to be the best forehands in the game, but I'd go with Fernando Gonzalez's forehand for it's awesome, crushing power.

Backhand: Lleyton Hewitt.

Net Game: I'd take Stefan Edberg any day but since he's retired I'll go with Tim Henman.

Speed: Guillermo Coria.

Stamina: Andre Agassi.

Mental Toughness: AA.

2. Is anybody likely to overtake Roger Federer?

Given the way he's been playing, not a chance.  But then again look what happened to Marat Safin and Lleyton Hewitt, two seemingly invincible guys who fell off the pedestal when the other guys caught up.  Taking into account injuries and whether RF can keep his desire, I can see Hewitt regaining the top spot if he can find a way to reassert his previous dominance over RF.

3. Is Federer the greatest to ever play the game?

Too soon to tell.  He certainly is the most naturally gifted I've ever seen.  But whether or not he can chase Pete Sampras' 14 Grand Slam titles (RF currently has 4), remains to be seen.  Also, whether or not he can complete the career Grand Slam by winning Roland Garros (which PS didn't, AA did) will go a long way toward determining his place in history.

4. Agassi or Sampras?  Who's better?  Why?

In my humble opinion, Pete Sampras was the toughest to ever play the game but Andre Agassi is the greatest to ever play the game.  Thus far.  

AA completed the career Grand Slam, won the Olympic Gold Medal and is one of only eight players in the Open Era (post 1968) to win 800 matches, none of which Sampras did.  Also, Pete retired at 32 last year.  Andre, at 34, is still going and remains in the Top 10.  That's truly amazing.

5.  Who's the best coach out there?

Another tough one.  Brad Gilbert guided AA to 6 Grand Slam titles and took Andy Roddick to number 1 last year and the U.S. Open title.  Still doing a fine job with AR this year.

Darren Cahill took Lleyton Hewitt to number 1 in 2001 and the U.S. Open title.  Now he's taken AA to an 8th career Grand Slam (2003 Australian Open), helped keep him in the Top 10 and has guided him through this disappointing season , highlighted by a win at the Cincinnati Masters where he beat Carlos Moya, AR and Hewitt in succession.  

Peter Lundgren took Roger Federer to a Wimbledon title last year and is credited by RF himself as the main reason why he's done so well this year (3 Grand Slams, tons of titles) without a coach.  Now he's helped bring Marat Safin out of hibernation, guided him to his first title (Beijing two weeks ago) in two years and has him in a firm spot to qualify for a place in the Tennis Masters Cup next month, regardless of which he'll finish the year in the Top 10.

Paul Annacone took Pete Sampras to 6 Grand Slams and helped him secure his spot as one of the, if not the, greatest of all time.  Now he's guided 30-year old Tim Henman to his best year ever, with career-best showings at Roland Garros and the U.S. Open (reached semifinals at both).  

All that being said, there's no one standout.  These four guys are the pantheon of the coaching profession in tennis.  Take your pick.  Any one of them is a candidate for "Coach of the Year" this or any other year.   

Hey everybody.  So, how was your night?

Mine was fine.  A little down but, like I said before, I've been here a few times these last two years so I've gotten real good at rejection.  My skin is thick, my pride is wounded and my attitude is bad.  Still, I have this blog, all of you and a bottle of Johnny Walker Red Scotch to get through this latest cycle.  It'll be fine.

Ok, on to business.  I posted three sites on Betsy's blog where you can go and see what kinds of scripts are being solicited.  If you missed it, here's the info again:

Hollywood Lit Sales - www.hollywoodlitsales.com

Moviebytes - www.moviebytes.com

Mandy - www.mandy.com

Other Agencies/Production Companies I've had success with:

AEI - www.aeionline.com

Benderspink - www.benderspink.com

Crescendo Group - www.crescendoentertainmentgro up.com

Klane Agency - www.klaneagency.com

PMA - www.pmalitfilm.com

FMA - www.fmamangement.com

Also, if you sign up for the Absolute Write Newsletter, which has info. on writing opportunities/workshops/e tc., you get a free list of Literary Agencies/Managers who accept new writers and unsolicited material.  www.absolutewrite.com

Finally, if you register your script (for $40) with InkTip www.inktip.com, your script is posted for producers to read, along with your logline and synopsis.  You get an update each day on who has viewed your material.  Also, you get a frequent email with script solicitation posts.  It's done a lot for me in terms of getting read.  It's well worth it.

I hope this helps.  If any of these sites don't work or are down, let me know and I'll check my info.  I may have gotten the link wrong but they're all sites I've used and I know are legit.

And, one last thing, Betsy mentioned that a few of us have exchanged scripts.  I've gotten real good comments from some of you, so I'd like to keep the invitation open to anyone who'd like to exchange scripts with me.

Have a good night, keep your chins up and continued good luck to everyone. 

P.S.  The agency, I've referred to here as LH, is not accepting any more material at this time.  But I'd keep an eye out in the future.  They're a great group of people and they may very well be my saviors.  I'll know soon but even if it doesn't work out I'd still highly recommend them for their professionalism and courtesy.  They're LaSalle Holland in NYC and they're at: www.lasalleholland.com 

First, I offer my sincerest congratulations to the 50 who have advanced to Round Two of "Situation: Comedy!"  Please, continue to be post and keep us all updated.  I know you can count on a lot of votes right here from this group for your show come air-time!

When I started this blog it was my hope that I would be one of the 50 who got to the last 10 and then 5 and then went on to be one of the finalists and would share this whole experience with all of you here.  A bit arrogant, I admit, but it sounded fun at the time. 

Over the last few weeks I have had the privilege to meet other contestants who found this blog in search for information on the contest and I cannot express how thrilled I was that we could all share this waiting period together.  I wish we could have shared it a little longer but all things come to an end and I can honestly say that it's been a true pleasure to be a part of this group. 

I also want to echo the sentiments made by Carol and Gonzobean and others in Betsy's blog who encouraged that we keep this group going, continue to share our hopes and dreams in the screen trade and continue to be a constant support system.  Lord knows we could all use it.  Especially at moments like this.  An old friend and mentor once opined that as long as we stick together everything will be all right.  Our victories are sweetened, our defeats softened because we did them together.  I feel the same way and I hope you do too.

As for me, all is not lost.  Believe it or not.  Just today I recieved word from LH that I'm being strongly considered for production or, at least, will be offered representation at some point when the company's budget is determined and if my script doesn't make the final cut for their 2005 production slate.  Also, I've recieved a couple of invitations over the last week from one agency and one production company to submit scripts.  And, here's a laugh, when I spoke to the very nice lady I've been dealing with at LH these last few months she asked me if I had any new projects in the works?  Her words, "A new feature?  Maybe a t.v. pilot?"  Isn't that a hoot?  My response, "Well, it just so happens my t.v. pilot has now become available for being sent around!"

So, there's still light at the end of this long tunnel but I must admit that my passion in going after it has severely waned over the last few hours, in no small part due to this latest rejection.  I have a few days grace period before I have to send out any new scripts to LH or these other outifits who've asked for them over the last week.  I'll take some time over the next couple of days to think things over, make sure that I'm making good decisions and do a gut-check to see if I still have what it takes to go after the big prize.

I'm disappointed.  I'm disheartened.  And probably drunk by the end of the night.  But I'm not out of it yet.  I'm still in it.  I'm still going.  At least for now.  A week from now?  A month from now?  We'll see.

"There's nevertheless something irksome about the assumptions behind this latest twist on the 'Show Business: Anyone can do it' reality concept...And if 'the art of the sitcom' is languishing maybe the soul-searching should encompass not just the saps that pull pages out the printer but the folks they submit them to as well."  So says Brian Lowry, a writer.

The absolute last person I would take my anger out on would be a fellow writer.  But this particular fellow has really got me ticked off.  He not only insults me but all the thousands of individuals who have entered the "Situation: Comedy" contest.

Part of what he says is true.  Network executives and producers spend far too much time focusing on what may be a "sure-fire" hit for their networks, always involving a name star or proven pedigree of showrunners.  And how many of them fail?  "Whoopi?"  "Bette?"  "Coupling?"  "Norm?"  And who here actually thinks "Joey" is the next big thing in sitcoms, excluding the fact that NBC decided, for monetary and not creative reasons I assure you, to pick it up for a whole season?

After taking a peek at imdb.com to see Mr. Lowry's credits which might give him some standing to pontificate on the awful waste of this contest as he obviously sees it, I could find no listing for anyone besides a producer with that name.  But I thought he was a writer?

Some of the best sitcoms came from relative unknowns or with not very big stars attached.  Who, after all, wanted to see a show about four 50-something women sharing a house in Miami?  That show was, of course, "The Golden Girls."  What's interesting about a show that takes place in a bar?  "Cheers."  A whiny bunch of Boston lawyers and dancing babies?  "Ally McBeal."  Now maybe that last one is a bit of a cheat but David E. Kelley was known for dramas like "L.A. Law" and "Picket Fences."  His doing a comedy was seen as a stretch.

My point is this: some of the best television comedies came from outside the mainstream and, dare I say it, not from Hollywood heavyweights.  And maybe, just maybe, those evil network executives and producers have found that their talent pool is drying up fast and they need some new blood to inject into the system.  There's no shame in thinking outside the box and bringing in unknowns to try and revive an ailing medium.  It works in sports all the time.  Maybe us ugly, snivelling saps can put the Hollywood elite on notice that they need to try a little harder to create funny t.v.

I may be a sap.  I may not have the talent or ability to create a great sitcom.  I may not even get the chance to with this contest.  But I'll tell you this: at least I'm trying.  I'm putting it all out there and I challenge everyone to do the same.  I'll tango and go toe to toe with anyone who seeks to demean or insult not just my efforts, but those of my new friends Betsy, Ken, Steve, Carol and all the rest.

So to you Mr. Lowry and those of a like mind: if you're so much better than us, put up or shut up.

I venture to say that I have a sixth sense.  No, I can't see dead people.  Unless I've had too much to drink.  My sixth sense is that I can feel when my efforts, my work, myself for that matter is just plain inadequate.  Not good enough.  Second-rate.  Not a good feeling but an important one.

For me, I believe vanity and egotism are the worst things in the world.  Pitfalls all of us, to be sure, have fallen into at some point.  Strange, then, that I would choose showbusiness as a career.  Go figure.

I believe that a sense of inadequacy can be a valuable thing.  For the most part.  I've felt that way in all areas of my life at one time or another.  As a student, musician, athlete, employee, son, friend, etc.  I've also felt that way about my writing.  That, in and of itself, has proven to be my most valuable asset and also my biggest demon when I write.

Truth be told, I am a person who strives for perfection.  Being human, I know that can never really be achieved.  As a result, I am dissatisfied with myself in a lot of ways.  Some people say that's a lack of self-confidence or an overdeveloped sense of fragility, but this is not so.  I need to feel inadequate because it makes me stronger.  It makes me a better person.  A better writer.  Of course, that nagging sense of dissatisfaction comes along with it.

I like having this sense because it motivates me.  It pushes me.  To the brink sometimes.  Unfortunately, I seldom arrive at a place where I feel good enough about my efforts.  However, being a writer and having to face the realities of deadlines, I have to turn something in at a certain point.  Which, again, leads me to question why I want to work in t.v. so much now?  A sitcom, unlike a play or screenplay, cannot be written when you're ready.  You can't stick a script in the bottom drawer and come back to it.  You have to get it ready, as good as it can be and submit it in time for the production to go forward on schedule.  Some writers have had trouble with this, being perfectionists like myself.  Aaron Sorkin of "The West Wing" and David Milch of "NYPD Blue" and now "Deadwood" are perfect examples of guys that finally gave up on trying to be perfect and left their shows behind.

I hope that doesn't happen to me.  I'm 24, a young guy with, I think, a lot to offer.  Though sometimes that sense of helplessness can be a little crippling.  When I'm writing a script or this blog, for instance.  Is this interesting?  Does anyone really care what I have to say here?  Is this a complete waste of time and blog space?  I don't know the answers to those questions, partly because I can't answer for others.  But I like doing it.  And as long as I like writing and feel I have something to offer then I'll keep going, in some form.  Maybe not professionally if I don't advance in this contest or get a deal with LH.  But in some form.

I'll keep going as long as I don't feel completely untalented.  And inadequate. 

I see folks have been brave and nice enough to post the summaries of their pilots.  Fair's fair, right?  So here's mine.  Tell me what you think.  Even if you hate it let me know.  Any reaction, at this point, is something!

Oh, a little backround.  As I wrote a few weeks ago, but if you didn't catch it, I wrote a pilot about tennis.  Here you go:

"Journeyman" is the story of Cade Kendall, a once promising tennis star whose taste for celebrity and the nightlife has derailed his career. A professional at 15, Cade advanced to the quarterfinals of both Wimbeldon and the U.S. Open before his career hit the wall.

Cade’s "team," his inner circle consists of his coach George Lorraine, his trainer Marvin Briggs and his girlfriend Adrian Rhodes. Through all the ups and downs, the triumphs and tragedies, they have stuck together from the very beginning. And while Cade feels he’s at the end of his journey, his team feels that a new beginning is just over the horizon, if he will just allow himself to believe.

Half of the show takes place in the lockers rooms and tennis courts at tournaments across the country that Cade plays in to earn a living and ATP points to, hopefully, qualify for the bigger tournaments and the Grand Slams. The other half of the show takes place in and around Cade’s apartment in Los Angeles. All of the action is of the present day.

Before I get to the topic at hand I'd like to welcome both Carol and Betsy to our "Situation: Comedy" circle.  Betsy's blog, where she is charting this contest as well, is linked on the left.  Much luck to them both!  Still no word yet but judging by this ever-growing circle of participants I'm sure when the first word goes out we'll all know. 

I also want to respond to a comment I got thanking me for starting this little circle.  I'm not sure I started it but I am glad that we've all gotten together through this blog, which I'm happy to say has led others here, to share our common dream and aspirations. 

Ok, so back to the topic at hand.  I said yesterday that I used to separate people into two groups: those with children and those without.  As I can't relate to that myself yet, I decided to separate people into two different groups: people with good backs and people with bad backs.  I've found, strangely I know, that like parents those of us with bad backs seem to have extra life experience and wisdom to share.  Believe it or not, I think I know why this is so.

Thankfully, I haven't had to have back surgery.  I've had other surgeries, but those were pretty minor.  Sinus surgery a few years back and a minor heart procedure three years ago.  And while those problems have since disappeared, fingers crossed, I've had a bad back for as long as I can remember.  I've been told by doctors it's for various reasons.  Too much physical activity.  I like to walk a great deal.  I like to play sports.  Tennis, as you should know by now.  And other reasons where I've endured some unnecessary pressures and strain to the back.  But nothing I regret.

My point is simply this: if you have a chronic illness or pain of some sort, an old sports injury perhaps or asthma, then you tend to let the little things slip by and not bother you as much.  That pain, that little twinge that reminds you of how fragile we all are, serves as a constant reminder that life is short and precious and we should let all the little hassles and drama go by the wayside.  Just like having kids.  You realize with children that you're no longer responsible for yourself anymore and so a lot of things that were bothersome or important once before are now benign.

Having surgery, any surgery, or dealing with pain and illness on a regular basis forces yo u to deal with the situation, accept what pain or permanent condition that ensues and move on with your life.  You have to find a way to deal with it and not let it affect you.  It takes time, sure.  But once you learn how to do that then you're a lot better off.

I'd prefer people find that out through becoming parents rather than having bad backs or surgery of some kind.  But you'll be grateful when it happens, no matter how frightening and painful it may seem.

How does this apply to my current state o f affairs?  Well, because I have a bad back and have been through minor surgeries I can let this whole nerve-racking process of waiting for word from Bravo to just be, just exist and live my life.  I've been able to do that for the past two years.  It hasn't been easy.  In fact, I'm glad that "Situation: Comedy" is happening now as opposed to last year, because a year ago I wasn't nearly as well adjusted.  But now I'm secure in myself (for the most part) and my work (for the most part and if I have enough scotch).  I'm also secure to let this contest and LH be my final stabs, my last attempts at the biz before I can give up the dream and go on with my life.  

I wouldn't be happy to do that.  I hope I don't have to because, truth be told, I never planned much of a back-up scenario.  Still, it can be done and I can face it.  I don't know if I'll get picked up for production or representation from LH or get a shot at the "Situation: Comedy" contest.  What I do know is if I don't, it's not the end of the world.  And I know I could never have come to that conclusion if I had a good back.    

For years I've separated people into two groups: people that have children and people that do not.  I've always felt that parents, no matter how old or young they are, have a little more experience and wisdom to share with the rest of us.  To prove that, we've all known people who've said how much they've learned about themselves and life in general after they had kids.

I don't have children myself.  Yet.  At least not ones that I know about or can legally acknowledge!  Studying my favorite artists I have found their work to reach new depth and insight after they had children.  Filmmaker Kevin Smith comes to mind.  His films "Chasing Amy," "Mallrats," and "Dogma" were very funny movies but they were mostly made up of adolescent, superficial humor.  Then he became a father and made "Jersey Girl."  A very different kind of movie that many complained, despite the Ben Affleck - J.Lo mess, wasn't nearly as funny as his previous work.  Singer Liz Phair also comes to mind.  Her first couple of albums contained great songs like "Stratford-on-Guy" and "F**k and Run."  Then she got married, became a mother and along came the albums "Whitechocolatespacegg" and "Liz Phair," good albums both but with some artistically tamer content.  Partly, as she herself says, because she's a much different person now that she's a mom. 

The same is true of actors who've had children who go on to make different kinds of films, ones they'd like to have their kids be able to see.  Athletes are the same way.  They play less and spend less time being celebrities in order to be with their children more.  For the most part at least.  Shaquille O'Neill, Andre Agassi and now LeBron James are perfect examples.

I'd like to think my own work will deepen and mature with age but also with being domesticated at some point.  Hopefully, that won't be for a while.  I'm only 24.  But judging by the quality of the blog from my new friend Anastacia (hi Ana!), who's a year younger than me and is a parent, I have high hopes.  (Her blog is linked at the left, by the way.)  

I'd like to be working on my sitcom when the time comes to be a husband and father.  We still have no word from "Situation: Comedy," though a very nice person posted a comment that offered encouragement but also word from someone who apparently got a letter from the contest saying his script had been recieved a couple of weeks ago.  I'm wondering if he asked for such a letter because I didn't ask to be informed that my script had been recieved.  And I certainly haven't been told it has been.  I assume it was recieved because I didn't get it back.  And I first-classed it through the post office.  Those two combined lead me to believe that it got there safe and sound.  Did anybody else get such a letter of acknowledgement or know of someone that did?  I hate to think everyone got a letter, assumed I got one too and hasn't said so.  Otherwise, I'd be worried that my script somehow got lost or misplaced and all of my hopes and ramblings and blogs are for naught!  That would suck.

That being said I have another way to distinguish folks now.  A new way.  A way that hits more closer to home and perhaps some of you non-parents can relate to.  But more on that tomorrow.       

Every writer has a process.  Some write early in the morning, some during the day and others, like myself, write late at night.  Truth be told, if I have to I can write at any time during the day.  I can get creative when the circumstances call for it.  But I prefer to follow my own process.

I prefer to write alone.  Others like to collaborate.  I like collaboration myself.  In college, I had many classes where I had to work in a group and we had an essay or presentation that we all had to work on.  I also wrote a play with one of my professors.  I loved it.  I truly loved the juices that I got from working with other people.  However, I also was very happy to get back to my own solitary creations.

Which leads me back to the question of process.  I have a process that probably isn't unique, it may in fact be common, but it's my own way of working.  I don't write compulsively, as a lot of writers do.  I think compulsively.  I keep a journal.  A book full of ideas for stories, characters, fragments of ideas, jokes, one-liners, etc.  When I finally do get a coherent idea, which has been known to take months, I then have to spend a long, long time thinking about the story.  How will it work, who will the characters be, what will they do for a living, what adventures/trouble will they undertake?, etc.  More importantly, can I actually write it?  Will it be funny?  Will it be new and original?  After I've asked and answered all these questions and procrastinated long enough by coming up with every possible excuse why I can't write it, at least not now, then I'll begin the actual writing.

As you may have guessed, getting to the point of sitting down to write takes a long, agonizing period.  I'm someone that has to look at all the sides of a story before I can write it.  Then I have to plan what's going to happen.  The entire thing.  Then after all that's done I sometimes throw it out the window and write something I hadn't planned on or thought about.  That's the fun part.  Surprising myself is the fun part.

I don't often surprise myself when I write.  I usally hate what I write and then toss it into the garbage.  But every now and then I'll surprise myself and be proud of what I've come up with. 

That's how I felt about my sitcom pilot for "Situation: Comedy."  I didn't actually think writing a tennis story would come as easily and be as much fun as it turned out to be.  Which is why I continue to cling to the hope that my miracle, my "sweet chariot" will arrive with this contest.  Though I must admit, with every day that passes by and with no word from anywhere about what's happening, I find myself becoming distressed and thinking bad thoughts.  Has the contest, as someone suggested a few days ago, moved on without me?  I can use logic to justify why I don't think it has, but the truth is I really don't know.  No one does.  And that's what's scary.

Finally, as you might be able to tell, I don't plan what I'm going to write in this blog.  Sometimes I have an idea when I sit down and other times, like tonight, I just write what comes to mind.  I hope you're not bothered by that, though if you're looking for a coherent pattern from my rantings you'll be sorely disappointed.

All that having been said, I still hold out hope (fading though it may be) that I'll hear from "Situation: Comedy" soon.  We all have to hear something eventually.  But by then it may be too late.  I hope not.

By and large I'm not a big fan of reality t.v.  I don't watch "The Apprentice," "The Greatest Race," or "Survivor."  I do watch "American Idol" only because it's one of the funniest shows on television and by that I mean it's a showcase for the disturbing lack of talent in America.  But then again when our biggest pop stars are Madonna and Britney Spears, I'm not all that surprised.

The only reality show worth watching this year, as well as four years ago, was the Vice-Presidential debate.  Historically, these have been the more interesting and telling debates because we actually see a real exchange of ideas and philosophies.  I'm not exactly sure why this is so, though I suspect it's because the V.P. nominees are charged with promoting their campaign's ideas and issues rather than themselves, unlike their counterparts at the top of the ticket.  In 2000, we all lamented that Dick Cheney and Joe Lieberman were at the bottom of the ticket rather than the top.  They both came off as thoughtful gentlemen rather than bullish, political attack dogs.  Things have changed and not for the better since.

In Ron Suskind's excellent The Price of Loyalty, he makes clear that Dick Cheney is the real power behind the Oval Office.  The Svengali to Pres. Bush's Trilby, if you will.  You may find that a good or bad thing and while I have mixed emotions on that question, I find myself relieved that he's in the White House. 

It's no secret to anyone that knows me that I have many problems with the direction that the Republican Party, the party I've been a lifelong member of, has taken.  I have strong feelings about the Patriot Act, taxes, health care and the appalling move to constitutionally seek a ban on gay marriage.  I'm a straight Catholic that believes that marriage is between a man and a woman, but I can't stomach using the U.S. Constitution to promote a religious agenda. 

That being said I think a John Kerry/John Edwards administration would be a greater danger to our country.  I suppose that pointing out all the mistakes the administration has made, many of which they made along with the Bush White House, and screaming about the distractions we've made in the war on terror without having any plans of their own makes it seem like they are an alternative.  They're not.  They're a fraud and the fact that they try to pass themselves off as something different is pathetic.

Thankfully, Dick Cheney ran circles around John Edwards and poked all kinds of holes in John Kerry.  Hopefully, the president can make up for his uninspired debate performance last week and land a few knockout punches.  Not that four more years of Bush/Cheney is any great treat.  But if that's all we're left to choose from, then it's a blessing because things could actually get worse.

All in all, I hope to be blissfully distracted from all the mess our republic has become by putting in 18 hour days on my sitcom.  If only "Situation: Comedy" would give me a chance.  If only "Situation: Comedy" would give us a heads-up on what's going on.  Where are they?  Are the folks at Bravo hiding out with the WMD's?  If they are, I'm about ready to invade their studios in L.A. myself to get a few answers, come hell or U.N. codemnation!

What the hell is going on with "Situation: Comedy?"  We're entering Week 3 and still no word from anyone, anywhere.  Some have speculated that the contest has already moved on into the next round and we've all been left out in the cold, having not advanced to the Quarterfinals.  Here's my take on the situation, if you'll pardon the pun.

I don't believe the contest has moved on into the next round for a couple of reasons.  One, it just doesn't seem logical that a contest so public and obviously popular would operate under such low radar.  I think, or at least I choose to believe, that like "Project Greenlight" there would be some sort of general announcement via email or on the Bravo website indicating the progress of the contest.  Too many people would be understandably miffed at being left in the dark, which is bad practice.  Bad practice leads to bad PR and this contest is an interactive one, being that the ultimate winner will be decided by viewers as, ultimately, the popularity and significance of the contest itself and whether it's successful enough to continue.  Two, if we're to believe the numbers that were published as to the wide participation in this contest, does anyone really think that somewhere, somehow one of the lucky quarterfinalis ts wouldn't be saying so?  Gloating in a blog such as this or to a local paper or journal that could easily be found through the internet?  I just can't see 50 people having been notified already, be in the process of the next application period and no one knowing about it.  No gag order, even if imposed, would ever stick.  Hell, gag orders have trouble holding up among two people.  Finally, chances are one of us, through our network of friends and contacts, should be able to find out if the contest has moved on.  The fact that none of us can find out anything speaks for itself.

So, where does that leave us?  My thinking was that it would take close to a month to read and score all the submitted scripts.  Even if the scripts are only 30 pages long remember that they're being read by three different people, assigned three different scores and then tallied.  That's going to take a little while, even if it comes at the expense of our collective patience and nerves.  Also, the contest has merely set a deadline for picking two finalists by this fall, not filming their pilots and preparing them for broadcast before the new year.  Let us also remember that family and friends of the finalists have to be interviewed, as well as the finalists themselves working.  Plus, and here's the real kicker, if you read the rules carefully (as I have over and over in the vain search for answers) the contest reserves the right to extend the deadlines.  The show doesn't start to air until the winter anyway, so as long as the ten weeks start by the end of the year the deadlines should still be met.

That, for me at least, is how I'm looking at things.  I honestly don't feel panic or an overwhelming need for concern, even though I pretty much have my whole future riding on this contest and my submission to LH in New York. 

I'm hoping that this might bring some measure of comfort or perspective to my fellow scribes and contest participants.  We know too well that in Hollywood the writer always gets the shaft and is the last man (or woman) on the totem pole.  We have to look out for our own.  Good luck, keep us all updated if you hear anything and keep the faith!

It's hard to say what my all-time favorite film is.  There are so many to choose from.  There are the films that inspired me, the ones that made me laugh, the ones that made me cry and the ones that made me think.  Very rarely, though, does one film do all of the above.  That being the case, if I had to choose one that fits this criteria, I would have to say "Reds" is my all-time favorite film.

What, not Woody?  Or David Lynch?  Not "The Godfather" or "Star Wars?"  No.  While those are excellent choices I still have to go with Warren Beatty's 1981 masterpiece. 

"Reds" is a truly epic film.  At more than three and a half hours it's part love story, part history lesson and part political speech.  The film traces the rise of the communist movement in America in the early 1900's as seen through the eyes of writers John Reed and Louise Bryant.  Reed's famous 10 Days That Shook The World is a first-person account of the overthrow of the provisional Russian government and the rise of the communist regime under Lenin.  It also deals with Reed's personal life and times.

The film boasts a first-rate cast in Warren Beatty, Diane Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Maureen Stapleton and Gene Hackman.  It was nominated for a ton of Academy Awards, but lost most of them to "Chariots of Fire."  WB did, however, win the Oscar for Best Director.

"Reds" is a film that proves a couple of things.  First, an intelligent political film that presents a clear, concise argument doesn't have to be controversial.  It can be taken for what it is and respected as such.  Second, it proves that an old-fashioned Hollywood epic can still work and have a place in the canon of American film.  Granted, the film is more than 20 years old.  Still, it proves that these kinds of films can stand the test of time even if they're not so popular at the time. 

"Reds" lost money and was dismissed by audiences, though mostly embraced by the critics.  It's a film worth seeing, even if you have to go to a little bit of trouble to get a copy.

Aside from this, no word on "Situation: Comedy."  Another week, another wait.  But at least I have an XBOX now to keep me occupied!

Ah, the joys of an XBOX! 

My sister and I had been planning on getting a Playstation2 for the past year or so and finally were able to get one yesterday.  Wouldn't you know that every single store that we went to was sold out?  And I mean every single one!  We took our lives into our hands going into Walmart in Calexico after being turned away by Toys R US.  Finally, after more than two hours of humiliation, we decided to go with an XBOX.  At least that was something available for purchase.

And we should have known all along to buy an XBOX.  After all, Liz Phair sings about gaming on the XBOX in her song "Rock Me," so how could we possibly go against her?

We've spent the last day and a half getting sore backs and blistered hands playing "Top Spin" tennis, where sadly my sister has been routinely cleaning my clock on every surface except for grass.  But clay isn't my natural surface anyway, being a serve and volley type of guy.  "Grand Theft Auto" and "Madden 2005" have provided great entertainment as well.  Now I have something else to get me through this "Situation: Agony" waiting period.

Here's the saddest part of all, if my spending all this time gaming instead of writing isn't sad enough.  My sister said her other reason for getting us an XBOX now, instead of Thanksgiving, was that she felt that was a long time for me to not have anything to do.   The fact that she plans on me being here for Thanksgiving sitting on my butt after two years of that already kind of brings the cold, hard truth home.  If this doesn't pan out and I am sent away with my tail tucked and pride blistered, then I really need to think about another future.  Once your own sister starts buying stuff to keep you occupied all day it's time to get real.  Though I sincerely hope my "real" is a writing career.  Hopefully, it will be spending the rest of the fall in L.A. filming my sitcom for "Situation: Comedy."

I have never been all that impressed with presidential debates.  I don't necessarily think they're a waste of time, but I do think that a real exchange of ideas and issues is what they're meant for and they hardly every achieve it.  Last night was no different.

For some time we've had a one-party system masquerading as a two-party system.  Both parties have taken up permanent residence in the center during election season so that presidential campaigns represent nothing more than who is more sucessful at coming off as more centrist.  Some times it's Republicans and sometimes it's Democrats.  The real election takes place for the House and Senate.  They who control Congress, who actually write the laws, are far more important than he who occupies the White House.

Still, last night was interesting only in that John Kerry has been in Washington for 20 years and has the nerve to try and sell himself as someone new.  He has the audacity to say that if he's elected then suddenly the reconstruction of Iraq and relations with other countries will suddenly come easy.  And he has the arrogance to say that he's always had one clear, consistent position.  The only consistent position he's had is that he's inconsistent.  At least with Pres. Bush you can agree or disagree with his policies, and I often disagree with them, but at least you know where he stands.  And who'd have thought he would come off as more realistic and able to deal with what actually goes on?

The only thing John Kerry proved last night was that he has no clue how the real world works.  And now he wants some "global test" the U.S. must pass in order to defend herself.  So if we need to strike back at someone who strikes us we need permission?  That's ridiculous.  It's also very dangerous.

As I said before we are forced to pick the lesser evil.  And it appears this time around George W. Bush is the lesser evil.